stress Guide
Who Invented Stress? Stress Reduction & Self Improvement
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Yes there is blame here, blame for all the ideas that float around our minds inducing stressful feelings from subjective moral and social standards. I was asked the other day to run a class on Thinking outside the box what a joke! I asked who built the BOX. What is the box? Where did it come from? Who does it restrict? Wow! What a load of limiting thoughts and we had not even got started.
What those limiting metaphors people because the whole of limiting psychology relies on them to keep you in a constant state of stress. They seem to believe that society in general works better under pressure. They seem to think that unemployment is a bad thing. All this causes stress, all this causes us to think in ways that promote the feelings that we are in constant fear of consequences of our actions. Even the word consequences have negative connotations why?
No this is not a political rant but a quick introduction to wake you from a slumber pattern that induces stress almost everyday in one form or another throughout your life. The reasons are plentiful the solutions are almost never given.
The difficulty many people have when it comes to reducing stress is that they pit their will against a very big opposition. This opposition is made up of the media, perceived social acceptance, religious dogma and most powerful of all, your own subconscious.
Almost all the books relating to stress reduction involve attempts to think around the problems that cause stress in the first place. And there is a deadly assumption there, that it is a problem that causes stress.
That sort of advice and pseudo attempts to reduce (not combat, we avoid war metaphors since they imply defeat before we start) stress serves in increase the very situation we are trying to avoid! So let me help to dissolve the idea of stress in ways that you can relate to and re-program your own subconscious.
I have listed two basic approaches here that will help the idea that stress isOk Im going to use a war metaphor herebut only to show you why it works.
Lets assume that stress is an enemy and you are defending against it. It has more guns than you it has more troops (thoughts and feelings) than you. So what are you going to do? Well personally Im going to stick my hands in the air and spend the rest of the war in a camp; point is Im not in the fight anymore.
Now let me translate that for you in terms of non-conflict language.
TIP ONE; I will assume that you work in an office where other people are also working with you. Go get a letter, memo or report of some descriptiongot itgood. Now place it down where you can read it. Now focus on one FULL STOP DOT. Keep your eyes fixed on that full stop dot for the next five minuets at least. Sounds crazy? Maybe but just do it (dont try itDO it). Over then next five minuets you will feel your self starting to dissolve the stress, amazing what such a small dot can do eh? Oh and while your at it your not allowed to feel guilty ok.
TIP TWO: For this you need to go sit somewhere that is going to be peaceful for you, no interruptions no disturbances.
Now you have to separate the stressful thoughts from the feelings. So have a think about what stresses you first, then explore the feelings it invoke within you. Now remember I mentioned that (limiting, conflicting war metaphor above) here is where it has relevance. Once you have separated the thoughts from the feelings I want you to give up. Thats right mentally put up your hands and surrender to those feelings. Reduce the conflict, dont attempt to fight it accept it fully and without judgment on self or others.
It is important for you to be absolutely non-judgmental here towards your self and other. You are going to spend the next ten minuets in total non-judgmental mind-state and when was the last time (if ever) you did that?
It is not your place during this simple exercise to list or think that your feelings are right or wrong, they are simply your feelingsthey are neutral ground. They are your feelings and they need to be totally accepted by you. Once you have done this you will notice that the conflict within you has ceased simply because in all honesty IT DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE.
This is not to say you do not care or have been irresponsible because to say any of those things or anything else for that matter would be judging yourself and youre not going to do thatare youanymore.
I do hope this has or will help some of you and for those who feel it would not work for themTake noteThe practical application of this article is a THOUSAND TIMES MORE POWERFUL than the words it took to explain it.
Jason Rife has spent years as a sales manager, copywriter, NLP expert and hypnotist. Has consulted on TV documentaries in the UK and Mexico and runs http://www.artofnlp.com and http://www.nlplogy.com subscribe to the newsletter and read many more NLP related articles for FREE. His best selling E Book How to get a pay rise appears on the above sites. An expert in covert-hypnosis you can be sure to get more for less from his original and exclusive work on the mirrored sites above. Why not book a training session with his unique stlye of demonstrative classes.
More infomation at WikipediaStress At The Workplace
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Many workers are finding that the demands of the modern day workplace can add significantly to their stress levels. This may be caused by, or have contributing factors such as an overbearing boss, sexual harassment, tight deadlines or a high energy work environment.
No matter what causes stress in the workplace, there are ways to handle it so that it doesnt lead to burnout. Its a fast paced world most of us live in, both at work and at home. We need to be sure we funnel the work stress properly so as not to take home and release it on our families.
Once stress has built up through the day, it needs to be released in a positive, healthy manner. Sadly, some people do not feel as though they need to do anything for their work related stress other than to ’suck it up’ and get on with living life, but therein lays danger. When the stress from work is pent up and brought into the home unchecked, the opportunity for family disruption is great. If a spouse or child says or does the wrong thing, it could trigger the stress ridden individual to release all the stress from work on them. This can have horrible repercussions on the family. Lost marriages and sad childhoods are but two of the consequences of misdirected workplace stress.
Okay, we know that its bad to bring our stress home, so what are we to do? First and foremost, never use alcohol or drugs to deflate your stress levels. Not only is it bad for you, it can make for the same sad ending as misdirected stress release, or it could even be worse.
One healthy way to combat work stress is to talk about it to someone before you come home. By venting the bad feelings you have pent up inside you. This gives you a chance to vent, as well as give you some more time between the stresses of work and home.
Walking is a great stress buster. Take the time for a good walk before heading home. Its something you can do in lots of places, such as the mall, the park or even a walk around the block will do nicely. Getting to the gym is also a very healthy way to rid you of work related stress. This is also good for your general health, so you can consider it a double duty stress buster. Just half an hour at your local gym should have you feeling much better about your day at work.
For those of you who have a very short time in between work and home, there is also an opportunity for you to unwind while in your vehicle. Listening to your favorite music CD can set you in a better mood for your home life. You can also practice deep breathing while in your car to help get you relaxed. Its not really that important which method you choose, or even if you choose your own activity, the important thing is that you must do something. If you wont do it for yourself, then do it for those you love.
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More infomation at WikipediaThe Importance Of Self Care
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Big week. Very big week. I had some larger than life meetings with some people who can actually help me make my ultimate career dreams come true. Its exciting and can be overwhelming, but Ive realized the importance of one thing.
I need to step back and take care of myself when Im busy. Its the best thing I could ever do for myself.
Take a client of mine who recently had a launch of her new product. There were the parties and the fund raisers. There were the meetings and the press events. There was excitement, and the fulfillment of a dream that she had been working on for many years. After the big event, she was sick for a month. Colds, flu, congestion, aching, you name it, she had it. And as soon as she got well, she jumped on a plane and did a tour promoting her product. She ran and ran and ran herself into the ground and itll be no surprise to anyone to hear, she got sick once again.
Another client I work with dealt with another stressful event which ultimately caused her illness. This lady is a manager and had to cover during work for a few employees who were out with pregnancy and a surgery. My client is completely capable and able to do the jobs of her co workers well, but the stress got to her. She ended up caving and fell ill at the end of her ramped up time. She ended up missing several days of work in a row as a result, which ultimately did not help the department. As a matter of fact, it COST the department. It slowed down the work because of the several sick days.
What these two clients had in common was that they put their work before themselves. They put the goals of their company before their own, and sacrificed over and over until they made the sacrifice of their health. They ended up having to take off a lot of time from work after the fact and their work probably suffered while they were there because both of them worked while they were sick.
Putting ourselves first often sounds selfish. It sounds like were self important or too good to work too hard. Nothing can be further from the truth. If we value the company or our work, well value ourselves first. If we take care of ourselves, well be strong for our company. If we take care of ourselves, we wont get sick after the busy time, or stressful times.
Taking care of ourselves means different things to different people. To me, it means getting in exercise several days a week and eat healthy foods. It means getting lots of down time, to be alone and to read and write. To me, it means getting to spend time laughing and playing with my son and reading to him or drawing with him. To me, it means connecting with my husband and getting to hear about his daily events that take place. It also means, connecting with my family and my friends via phone or in person. Lastly, it means that I have prayer time, and complete quiet time where I can just listen.
I find when I do these things, and take great care of myself, and have a lot of time just alone or being with my close circle of friends and family, I feel more productive. Im more creative, and Im happier. I feel more centered, and more balanced. I lose the anxiety, and the stress. I can also handle more stress because I feel stronger.
Its taken me years to find the formula that works for me. I know immediately when Im out of balanced. I start losing things and my clothes pile up in my closet. My desk gets overly cluttered and my house looks messy. I start getting a bit pudgy and my clothes feel tight. My nails and my hair start to look worn and I dont feel the inner spark that I love to share with others.
So like today, in the midst of my excitement, I took the morning off to spend with my dog. She needed me. She had a cough. So I took her for a walk. I read my bible and I wrote in my journal. I spoke with my mom a few times and emailed and called a dear old friend. I spent time out on my porch just reading and soaking in the sun shine. Later, even after work, I felt good. I handled some parental stress that is a part of a working moms day such as dinner, bath time and getting a splinter out of a screaming childs finger. I handled it all with grace and ease. I felt fine that even though there was a bit of chaos around me, it didnt affect me. I was in the flow and it felt right.
When we finally get this lesson about taking good care of ourselves, weve usually already done it wrong for a good many years. I sure did. I used to live on adrenaline and was a complete junky. As a result, I never felt really good. I was overweight and out of shape. And, Id prefer to not go back there.
So to challenge yourself, just review for yourself what YOU need to do to feel good about yourself. Do you need exercise? Do you need a special meal? Do you need to bask in the sunlight or get a massage? Whatever it is, make it happen. Trade massages with someone else if you have to, but figure it out.
Your body will thank you. Your mind will thank you. And ultimately your life will thank you, and reward you, just for taking care of yourself.
Mary Gardner, The Charisma Coach! Is and executive Communications and Lifestyle coach, speaker and consultant. She travels the country appearing on news programs promoting her ideas, and hosts a popular blog at http://www.marygardner.com
More infomation at Wikipedia